Six Cornerstones of a Successful Relationship

The Business Evolutionist posted the six cornerstones of a successful relationship. Let me summarize:

With Whom Communication Expectations Give & Take How Much Time People Evolve For the most part I agree what he has to say.

With Whom

In a personal relationship this is a given. What I mean is if you are worrying about the other 5 you already have this figured out. Over the long haul the more you have in common with the other person the more likely it is you will stay together.

Communication

This is by far the most important. Without communication the relationship is dead. This doesn’t only include verbal but nonverbal and written. Anything which sends a message to the person, this even includes not communicating. By not communicating, it sends a message of no interest, indifference. This is especially true if communication was once established.

Some areas that must be communicated are assumptions and small annoyances. Assumptions are almost always wrong and small annoyances fuel larger annoyances.

Expectations

The Business Evolutionist states the reasons people stay in a relationship is because expectations are being met. I agree, but believe this should be taken a step further, by exceeding expectations. In the movie “Finding Forrester” there is a memorable line by Forrester on women:

“The key to a woman’s heart is unexpected gifts at unexpected times”

To maintain a healthy relationship it must change. The other person’s interest must be kept or the relationship will stagnate.

In a previous relationship, I would go to my girlfriend’s house most evenings, one evening she dressed up to stay in. It was unexpected, I felt special. Another girl arrived late to a dance to leave cookies on my car window.

Give & Take Receive

This is a tough one, The Business Evolutionist (BE) believes you should give more than you take. Which is partly right, instead of “take” is should be “receive”. Take implies the giver instigates the taking, it’s quite the opposite. The other person should give without any prompting from the receiver.

According to BE the 50/50 rule should be thrown out the window. Each person should give 100 percent. BE’s approach is a different take on the 50/50 rule. If each person is giving a 100 percent in a two person relationship – they are 50 percent of the relationship, hence 50/50.

How Much Time

Without time together things go sour really fast. To spend time with someone there have to be preestablished commonalities – which of course build upon themselves.

People Evolve

This goes back to expectations, as expectations raise so does the growth to meet these expectation. This includes expectations for yourself.

Both people must add to the relationship and maintain interest of the other person.

The key is to evolve in the same direction.

There are books written on this subject. Everyone has different ideas on how to have successful relationships. Above are my idea’s I have developed over time through my own experiences and observations of other people’s experiences.